A new yoga experience looms ahead.

Ardhamatsyendrasana or Half  "Lord of the Fish" pose

I just want to share with you all that next Thursday I'm hosting my first group yoga lesson on request of many of my colleagues at school, all the money gathered in december will be given to an orphanage so they can organize a Christmas party. I'm very excited but also nervous. I think teaching yoga involves much more than just guiding people through awesome postures, you are dealing with the emerging emotions and with the fears of many (not only my own). Many students (like everyone of us) come into class with physical crutches which might make them vulnerable to many practices, and one must always welcome them without hurting them more.Donna Farhi says that teaching yoga is like receiving a heart in your hands, and I believe that is one huge responsibility, which I must admit is a bit terrifying. 

I have been doing some thinking while I prepare the lesson at home and came to the conclusion that I am often afraid, insecure, and needy, and that yoga has been a nice tool in my life to trust a link with someone (God for me) greater than myself and just doing that makes those monsters smaller and manageable. It is my deep desire to be able to communicate my own experience through my yoga practice. 

I don't know how many people actually stop to read my blog or if any of my friends really has the time to go through it. Is is enough if there is at least one reader who appreciates my words, although it's nice to know friends do visit from time to time :P

I would love it if those of you unable to come could be here, but your good wishes are as good as if you were there!

I will post the good news next week :)

The Universe we live in.

Since the begining of time there has always been the Universe of God, the real Universe, the Universe where we live. We also live in a much newer version of this Universe which was made by our ancestors, two sets in one, sometimes similar and sometimes quite different, this is the universe we live in .

The Sun comes out in the universe of man and in the Universe of God. When in the universe of man, the sun coming out means it's the morning and marks the beginning of a new day, new chances, new opportunities, and often a clean slate, while in the Universe of God the Sun coming out serves no  purpose other than just coming out in all its glory as every instant is replenished with the word new. In the Universe of God, when it rains, that's the only thing that happens, the plants are no longer thirsty, the rivers grow healthier and stronger so that they can supply water to the earth, yet everything remains quietly neutral, in a peaceful silence, just like in the driest of seasons. Rain in the universe of man gets us wet, and sometimes sad,  if it doesn't happen in a long time, we crave for it, we need it, and when it's enough we despise it, the day turns gray, and windows tick as drops crash against them.

One universe, that one of the man, works under a complex set of laws which are necessary for its understanding and adequate functioning, whereas the Universe of God only works because of God's love. There are no other laws, everything is linked to His love and moves towards it.

Some objects in the universe of man are classified as useless, this does not happen in the Universe of God as nothing is boxed and everything shares the same value. The universe of man is as old as reason, the Universe of God has no age.

Even if the Universe of God sounds like the good one, the appreciation of both universes cannot exist without the universe of man. There is no good or bad in the Universe of God, and the universe of man if a part of it. Without reason there is no universe of man, and without universe of man, all reasoning is out of order. The universe of man comes after the need of organization of reason and is based on the racionalization of the Universe of God. Therefore, finding oneself at awe before the Universe of God is only possible when recognizing the limitations of the universe of man, and finding oneself at awe is only possible in the universe of man.

Since everything in the Universe of God is God Himself and His love, it is only possible to love God and be His love. In the universe of man, it is possible to create manly love and give love to God and to another man.

There is grandeur in the Universe of God. There is humility in the universe of man. There's freedom in the Universe of God. There's passion in the universe of man.

These two universes must not be confused. Being a man implies living in the universe of man, and surrendering to God implies recognizing there is a much bigger Universe of pure love.
This is the Universe we all live in.    

The tin man.

I've heard there is a place inside the humans called the heart, or so they say. They point their chests and make strange grimaces while they express their emotions. The heart, they told me, is both a treassure and a curse, they all seem to protect it obsessively because once it hurts, it hurts for real, and it's difficult to cope with that.

Every human knows how to draw a heart, but they have never seen it, and they also think it is red. They cannot explain what the heart does, yet they can tell you when something is happening to it. How does it feel to have a heart? Where can you get one? How can something so ethereal, so ephimerous can be such a powerful element? I have seen these creatures being raised to heaven or completely crushed by their hearts. They keep fighting the will of their hearts with the mighty powers of their intelligence and make themselves unhappy. Seldomly do they really listen to their hearts, they are afraid of what will happen if they do.

Those poor humans, they think they get to choose, they think the rules that apply for us are not the same as the ones for them. They clinge to certainty because they are afraid to really live, to choose, to use their hearts. They are so stupid that they do not realize sometimes their intelligence is not suited to deal with some problems.

They were gifted with a heart, a heart that can produce enough heat to warm up a winter day, a heart that can water the driest lands and quench the worst of the thirsts. A gift so powerful that could cause some harm. That's why they are afraid to use it, because amidst the blessings, there is a risk, the risk of being hurt and therefore wait until they have the certainty that they are not going to be hurt, they sit still until the circumstances comply with the rules.

That is why they feel unhappy, because they live with their minds. They were chosen to carry the biggest of the hearts in the animal kingdom, and they rarely use it. I wonder if it still works. Haven't you seen how dogs use their little hearts? I once read that their heart is not even half the size of that one of a human, yet it works twice as much. They want to have a heart yet they run away from the obligations that demands.

I wish I had a heart. I wish I could feel the joy of using a heart so that later, when sorrow comes, I could be sure there are great times in life... I really wish I had a heart.

Recognizing the little prince. A very personal analysis

The first time I read it, I was 10 and I have to admit I found it a ridiculous book, mainly because I did not understand what it was really about. I got lost in the story and was not able to grasp the essence of the thing. Later, when I was 14, I had to read it for school. I remember I enjoyed reading it quite a lot because I was curious about its "hidden" meaning. Still it seemed abstract and somehow biblical in the sense that it talks about stuff that you do know but because you've been taught to. I happened to read it for my French class that same year, and again some years later. I recently went through it again and found it to be one of the deepest, yet most simple books I've read. I thought it would be nice to write about one of my favourite books in my blog.

What I like the most about "The Little Prince" is the tenderness of how it is written. I have to admit I know very little about Antoine de Saint-Exupery and his other work, other than the fact that he was an aviator and that he did find himself in the situation of surviving a plane crash in the Sahara desert (I like to think he survived in order to write this book). Yet I do know for a fact that he had to be a very sensitive and open man to destille all these insights into such beautiful words. At some points in the book I can't help but feeling excited and emotional.

For me, "The Little Prince" is about everything seen through the eyes of child, and the eyes of nature. It deals mainly with love, with innocence, and with "Really seeing" the world as a fresh start everytime. It also talks about a goal-driven society, and how meaning deviated and souless the essential things become once they receive a price tag or a purpose.

"Grown-ups love figures. When you tell them that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essentail matters. They never say to you, “What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies?” Instead, they demand: “How old is he? How many brothers has he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make?” Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him."

 "The Little Prince" somehow manages to simply state it all. What I also find surprising is the fact that what is written in this apparently irrelevant children's book, is also written in very different words in the core texts of civilization.  Christianism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, and I am sure  many other religions, they all tell us one way or another that “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

The character of the Little Prince represents the inner boy, the innocent, forgotten heart in each of us. That playful soul who really plays the game not really caring about winning or following the rules. That part of us who knows institutions are necessary but flawed in nature. He is the kid who knows that the real thing is different from the human constructed walls and rules which we need in order to live, but not live suffocated by them. Do you recognize him in you? 

These are my favourite parts of the book which I dared to comment. I would also love to hear your comments (which you can post, and I will appreciate).

"All men have the stars," he answered, "but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travellers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems. For my businessman they were wealth. But all the stars are silent. You--you alone--will have the stars as no one else has them--"

 The stars are just stars, and they do what they are best at: being stars. For some, stars are a mean to get something, but unless they really see the stars for what they are (being perfect stars), they will never enjoy them fully.

“Only the children know what they are looking for,” said the little prince. “They waste their time over a rag doll and it becomes very important to them; and if anybody takes it away from them, they cry…”
“They are lucky,” the switchman said.

 Only through the innocent eyes, will you be able to appreciate what you really want, what you really are, in the same way an apparently useless rag doll can mean a world of new opportunities for a little girl and how so little can make them happy.

“Well, I must endure the presence of two or three caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies. It seems that they are very beautiful.”

Dare to love, dare to surrender to life. The really good stuff requires a little bit of personal sacrifice. If you want to see the butterflies, you will maybe have to raise the caterpillars. Loving means also going through deep pain. The joy of living also involves to some point the fear of death.

"To forget a friend is sad. Not every one has had a friend. And if I forget him, I may become like the grown-ups who are no longer interested in anything but figures…"

Forgetting this playful you will only take you into the gray lifestyle of pursuing figures, of only surviving rather than living. Do you still remember your childhood friends? Do you still remember about the things you talked about? Your concerns? Do you still remember yourself back then and how you saw life?

“You are beautiful, but you are empty,” he went on. “One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me.”

There are many roses, many puppies, many kitties, and many people in the world. It is only your rose which plays the right keys in you, it is your dog which fills you with tenderness once he jumps at you once you are home, it is the kind word of your friends which comforts you or the gentle kiss of your lover which lightens up your day. A rose becomes your rose once you are able to really see it for what it is.

“To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world…”

“If you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life.”

“You have hair like the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat…”

Once you really see someone, once you make the rose yours, you are changed forever, you see your rose everywhere, and everything will remind you of it... Could this be what they call true love?
This is probably one of the best and most tender parts of the book. Before really seeing, everything seems like the school of fish in "Finding Nemo" who point the way to P. Sherman, Wallaby Way, Sydney. Later, you are able to see each fish for itself, the rose for itself, the man for himself.

Wait for a time, exactly under the star. Then, if a little man appears who laughs, who has golden hair and who refuses to answer questions, you will know who he is. If this should happen, please comfort me. Send me word that he has come back.

Will you let me know?? :)

The Axis: The Back II - Muscles.

Now that we know that the spine is built by one vertebra above the other with it's healthy curves and properties, is time to talk about how the spine integrates with the other parts of the body. The measure in which we realize this and make it ours, we will transform our yoga practice (in case we have one) into a more mature practice, and most importantly our daily life.

The spine is surrounded by many muscles and ligaments on different layers. These muscles relate the spine to the pelvis, the legs, the head, the shoulders, the arms, the chest, the groins, and the abdomen (as you can see, with the whole body). Their proper use will lead to a healthy, fluid and beautiful posture in life (I am not refering to an asana) and will spare you from future suffering. The knowledge of these muscles will take you to flex or extend your pelvis, to arch or bend your spine, to turn your shoulders, yo widen the chest, or to ground your sitting bones and grow up like a tree rooting in the earth.

In between the vertebral bodies, it's possible to find some sort of cushions which pad the contact between them called intervertebral disks. When weight and pressure are too much or the discs, the semisolid content of them spills out pressing the spinal nerves and causing an awful lot of pain.

The most vulnerable parts of the spine are only protected by muscles. The cervical vertebrae which "only" carry around 5 kg are surrounded by fewer and thinner muscles than the lumbar which has the whole weight of the upper body, this is the reason why inverted postures, like head balance and shoulder balance, in which the weight of the body is very much on the head and neck should be approached with lots of care so as not to damage the cervical region permanently. The lumbar portion of the spine is protected at the front by a group of muscles called the "abdominal muscles", which are mainly three: the Rectus abdomini, the Transversus abdomini, and Obliques. The back of the lumbar is protected by the Latissimus dorsi and part of the muscular system called the "Erector spinae" which is in charge of keeping the spine upright. (See picture A)

Picture A. The many muscles of the back.

There are very many muscles that work in the spine, but the ones we will focus on for the time being are the abdominal muscles, the Latissimus dorsi, the erector muscles, and the Iliopsoas.

The Iliopsoas is a key postural muscle, it a flexor of the pelvis, that means it tilts your pelvis into the forwardbend position. It is composed by two smaller muscles (Iliacus and Psoas major). The Iliacus starts on the pelvic crest and ends on the outer edge of the femur head (lesser trochanter). The Psoas major starts at the transverse processes, bodies and disks of the lumbar vertebrae and the 12th toracic vertebra, and finishes at the same place of the Iliacus at the outer edge of the femur. (See picture B)

Picture B. Iliopsoas. Note how the insertion of both muscles is on the outer edge of the femur head (EVEN IF IT APPEARS TO BE ON THE INNER SIDE, THE MUSCLES GO AROUND THE BONE!)

Strengthening the Iliopsoas could tilt the pelvis into an exaggerated flexion which could cause the disks (rememer the cushions) to spill, while stretching it will take the pelvis into its "backbend paddling".
One way of strengthening the Iliopsoas muscle is through "ab crunches". Paradoxically, excercising the abdominal muscles is meant to stabilize the lower back, however, according to Profesor David MacAmmond of Calgary, Canada , specialized in therapeutic yoga and kineseology, very little people who practice abdominal crunches have a healthy back due to the overstrengthening of the Iliopsoas.
A good way of just excercising the abs without getting the Iliopsoas engaged is the following.

1. Lie on your back and bend your knees if needed.
2. put your hands beneath the head.
3. Try to lift your nose around 1 cm and feel your abdominals getting worked.
4. Repeat 5 times.
5. Now try to mimic that abdominal contraction without lifting your head.
6. Repeat 10 times.

Through this excercise, nobody will ever develop a six pack, but that has never been the point of working the abdominal muscles. You want to protect your back, not to be a Greek sculpture with lower back pain! :)

Another important muscle is the Latissiums dorsi (See picture C), which involves the movements of the arms with the spine. It also connects the sacrum with the back.

Picture C. Latissimus dorsi

The Latissimus dorsi is the largest muscle of the whole body. It starts at the sacrum, the spines of the thoracic, lumbar vertebrae, lower 3-4 ribs, and iliac crest, and inserts into the inner edge of the humerus (the upper bone of the arm) as shown in the picture.

The fibers of the Latissimus dorsi are transverse. Transverse muscles are not meant for making small efforts for a long time, but rather for making a big short effort, therefore, the Latissimus dorsi must not engage in carrying the spine. The best way of not getting it involved is by widening it and giving space to the other deeper muscles (Erector spinae) to act. Dona Holleman proposes quite an innovative way to widen the Latissimus dorsi while sitting: she says that through the rooting (not pressing) of the outer wrist on the thighs, the Latissimus dorsi moves out of the way of the erectors of the spine. (This outer wrist point is known in Chinese medicine as the gate of heaven)

The erector muscles of the spine are many and are the ones responsible for lifting the spine and keeping it up throughout your life (See picture D).

Picture D. Erector spinae muscles.

There is no particular way to activate this muscles since it is very hard to feel them. What I know through practice is that there needs to be widening of the Latissimus dorsi and rooting of the part which is in contact with the ground so the ground pushes your body up (3rd Law of Newton). Dona Holleman also states that one of the mantras of posture is to keep the sacrum away from the lumbar region. This is done through the rooting of the grounding part on the one hand, and the elongation of the other end on the other.

One good way of excercising these muscles is to stand up straight keeping the sacrum away from the lumbar, feet at hips distance, shoulders above the hips and ears above the shoulders (Tadasana or mountain's pose), respecting all the natural curves of the spine and placing a 6-8 kg sandbag or book on top of the head. Try to lift the sandbag with your head keeping your ears away of the shoulders as much as possible while rooting the feet without pressing or blocking the knees. Feel the widening of the Latissimus dorsi and the elongation of the Erector spinae. This is the same action that takes place in most of the asanas, particularly on the standing ones. Once you have clear mastering of this concept you will be able to stand on your head which involves among a few other things, rooting the head on the floor, and elongating the feet upwards. Doing this will allow you to stay on your head for more than 10 minutes (otherwise you would be using the Latissimus dorsi!) [Do not go into head balance until you have a steady practice, and most certainly don't do it without supervision]

Note how upright are these Gujarati women carrying water on their heads.

Gujarati women carrying water on their heads.

I hope I have given some clear and useful information. Keep tuned for more of other stuff :)

Smaller and bigger boxes.

One day I woke up inside a box. It was an enormous, yet standard carboard box. I don't want you to think this was some sort of Kafkian experience in which the box was empty and there was no way out, no... it was completely the contrary, inside that box I had all the comforts of my room, it was actually my room, but made of cardboard.

In all my confusion, I approached to the door which was just a cut in the weak wall exactly at the same place where the door in my room would be. Outside the box, I found myself in another box. Confusion became curiosity. Where was I? What was happening? I tried to find the way out of the box only to find out that I was again in another box which contained, not only the box where I had come from, but many other boxes. This one was way bigger box, other people walked in it, I knew most of them: people from work, family and friends, others were people I had seen before but I did not know personally.

I treked around the box, I could enter to most of the other boxes, and inside those boxes there was nothing but many other boxes. To some of the other boxes I was not granted any access on the grounds of not complying with the basic access rules. While many others were able to enter, I was rudely driven away of the messy cut carton entrance -- it was "them, and I".

As the morning went by, I grew bored of the box, I wanted to get out of that place, I was starting to get claustrophobic, and I was craving some fresh air. I have to admit I was naively expecting to escape into open air upon leaving the box, but to my dismay, I left one box to be in a bigger box with the same attributes as the previous box. I really did not know most of the people here, the only thing we shared in common was that we all spoke Mexican Spanish. Again here, I was allowed into some boxes, and restricted to go into other boxes... us and them, them and I, you and I, but never Us. Even if we were all inside a big box, even if we were all Mexican, we were split appart in groups. If you know the Venn-Euler diagrams in mathematics, you know what I am talking about.

I started relating with the people of the boxes I was allowed into, we were friends, they gave me a sense of security, of belonging, of being, but then it was too much, and I wanted to see the sun, to hear the birds, to see the blue sky or the rainy clouds. The next box I was in was huge, I could hear English, Portuguese, French, German, Chinese, Japanese, and some other unintelligible languages, people coming in and out of boxes, to get into some boxes I had to show documents which showed all about me, at some other boxes I had to produce evidence that I was not planning to stay, something like a visa. The men at the entrance of some boxes pointed their weapons to my head making clear that they would rather kill me before letting me in. Mexicans hung out with Mexicans, Brazilians with Brazilians, and even if the Dutch talked to the Spaniards, and the Spaniards went out with the Japanese who liked to talk to the Cuban, there was always that sense of separateness, they were "the others", they were not us.

I felt a member of the Mexican box, and I prefered to be with the Mexican, we understood each other.  I then realized this was a false sense of security. Inside my the Mexican box we were split, and inside each box there were other "others". Outside this box, there were other animals, dogs, cats, cows, lions, sharks, turtles, and birds among many others. Dogs and cats were allowed into our box, but rats were not, and we were scared to go into the shark's box, and still there was no glimpse of the sun, and then I thought -- would there be a day when I will get to see the sky? Are this boxes really necessary? Do we need fierce aliens with aweful weapons to come and attack our earth in order to feel as the same kind?

Those Eyes

There are many types of eyes. Not only do they differ in color, but they also vary in size and shape: black eyes, green eyes, big brown eyes, asian dark eyes, small blue eyes and even Liz Taylor's eyes. Other very important traits that can be found in eyes are their shining, and their depth.

Everytime I go out, I find myself among a parade of eyes: a myriad of eyes come and go, some look away, some stare sternly, most of them just carry on with their day, and very few of them are the ones who really dare to see. Yes, only a small number of shiny and deep eyes dare to look, and this time I could not see them. How could I miss that? I just turned my back at such a display! Was I too busy with something else or was it too much for me to handle? I did look away, turning my numb eyes into the ethereal space of the same.
A myriad of eyes, and only a few dare to really see, only a few of them are innocent and prepared to understand, to receive, to absorb, and to give in abundance. The rest, like mine, just look, perouse, watch, and search. These are surviving eyes, dynamic eyes, pursuing eyes, wanting eyes, achieving eyes, the eyes of desire. They come in any color, size and shape, but they lack shine and depth. But not those eyes, those deep and bright eyes dare to be and that's all they do. Those eyes do not color the world, and do not take the shape of the circumstances.

One day I decide to explore the world with those eyes, and find out how difficult it is, how those eyes are not something I can place over my face, those eyes are perenneal and are not like the other eyes. I can do many things with the other eyes, I can choose not to show them, to look away, or to look down when I am ashamed. If threatened I can even turn my body to hide them. But I already told you that those eyes just are, and that is all they do. Then I think, I think how to get those eyes, I want them so much. I keep thinking, but nothing comes to my mind. My longing becomes an obsession, and I want to convince the world I got those eyes. I judge those other eyes, I despise them, they are so simple, they lack any substance. I keep wanting, but I still don't get what I look for, I grow in dispair and throw a tantrum. How come I don't have those eyes?

Then, any given day, I will wake up with my same eyes. I will not have needed to do anything or change anything. I will realize that those eyes have been there all along, and are just the same eyes, and that the only difference is that those eyes will be seeing from the heart rather than from the gut. These eyes will be thirsty of contact beyond the physical, they will be inviting eyes, welcoming eyes, happy eyes, eyes that dare to just be and need not do anything else. The world will look like a new place, the same way it looked when I had glimpses of happiness, and everyone will be a new chance of seeing myself, a mirror, a reflection that will change me.

Finally, these eyes will find you, and will recognize those eyes in yours, and maybe you will look away, maybe you will feel overwhealmed, but that will be OK too, because seeing your eyes, those eyes, is more than enough for me.